You are incredibly lucky to have parents
that want you so much. I hope that you feel their love and it nurtures you,
fills you up and makes you strong in this world. It is the experience of many,
myself included, to be born into an environment that was not chosen by any
party; and the result is often pain and confusion that can take decades and
sometimes lifetimes to heal. I hope that you receive the love in your family
and that it grounds and orients you towards a rich and meaningful life. This is
why I chose to donate my genes to your parents – I feel lucky to be able to
play a part in bringing you into an environment where you will be so wanted and
loved.
My experience of this world is that of a
dance between the living and the dead; the calls, guidance and at times
sabotage of the ancestors living in my bones, in movement and communication
with that which is unfolding right now. I have found some of my rhythm in this
dance of life by understanding more of my roots, and I want to share something
of that lineage with you.
You come from a strong line of
edge-mappers: early-day settlers, peace-activists, pirates, suffragettes, radicals
and pioneers. When I look over our family tree, I see people who are not
content with the status quo, but have something within them that pushes them to
seek beyond what is comfortable, into the vast unknown. I feel this strongly
within me, and I suspect that you may too. It can manifest as a deep discontent
with your situation – to be aware of this as something within you may help you
preserve your relationships and be gentler and kinder with the people you love.
It is not their fault you feel unfulfilled – this need is foundational part of
who you are. To truly surrender to this yearning as your own and allowing it to
steer you into life more fully – that is what has bought me happiness. I hope
it does the same for you.
I don’t know if we will ever truly find
what we are longing for – but trust that your need for a deeper meaning or a
wider perspective will lead you to great things. Take risks. Be bold. Don’t
turn life into a calculation of what is possible – you will find it deadening.
I look to Rumi for guidance: “Gamble everything for love, if you are a true
human being. If not, leave this gathering. Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into
majesty.”
Lastly, know that whomever and however you
turn out to be – I love you. I do not know if I will be able to fulfill your needs
or expectations if and when we meet in the future, but I will give of myself as
fully as I am able. And my door will always be open to you and yours. I love you.
