DISCLAIMER: What I am writing about in this post is a way viewing the world, a framework, a myth. Worldviews can be tricky because they can't be proved right or wrong on their own terms; a conspiracy theorist will discount information disproving their conspiracy theories as propaganda; a militant atheist will discount evidence that their views promote intolerance as irrelevant; your everyday Aussie proletariat will chalk up the environmental havoc that we are wreaking on the world as a 'problem for the scientists.' Whether these people are 'wrong' depends on your own mythology.
Mythology still seriously informs how we interact with the world, but unfortunately we in the west have largely pushed our mythology into our subconscious: outsourcing our norm-creation power to 'sciencism' (arguably a form of materialism) politicians and advertising executives. In this post I use the word 'divine' for its mystical nature; its ability to remain undefined. It's a way of saying 'good' that leaves the point open for debate, as who really knows what divinity is?
An ironic side effect of our large-scale adoption of the scientific method as the standard for truth is that we have largely lost the ability to acknowledge and be comfortable in uncertainty. We have a neurotic need to know things 'for sure', and have forgotten the basic tenet of Science: you cannot prove anything with 100% certainty, you can only form a hypothesis until it is disproved by the next set of data. Most of the great scientists and thinkers of the world were comfortable in this uncertainty and often rested in it: from this void of non-knowing sprung many of their greatest ideas and theories. 'Divine', then, serves to ground us in the comfort of non-knowing, from which real understanding and insight can spring. What I am seeking to do in this post is construct a notion of masculinity and femininity that is decoupled from gender while remaining meaningful.
This post can equally apply to both men and women, but applies a little more to men given the current crisis of masculinity.
Trigger warning: this article articulates the belief that there is such a thing
as ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ and makes reference to a girlfriend who may or
may not be crazy.
Men have gone wrong somewhere. It’s pretty much consensus,
guys. Whether it’s the statistics on domestic violence, or the cheerfully goofy
and hopeless portrait of masculinity presented to us by pop culture (bumbling
dad, ASD teenage boy and irrelevant grandfather) we as males don’t seem to know
how to be males well. We’re told it has something to do with earning capacity,
sexual prowess, comedic ability – you name it, there’s a mould for us to fit in
and measure our own inadequacy by. Common themes include domination, power and
strength, certainty and decisiveness. But late-stage capitalism has difficulty
making sense of our impulses towards violence, our urge to destroy, to fuck, to
assert control over our own situations. You seen Fight Club? Watch Fight Club.
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Apparently, we are a problem |
But it makes sense that a system designed to dominate us is
having trouble making sense of us. Women, having woken up to the fact that they
have been dominated for millennia, have put their foot down, raised their
voices and said ‘no longer’. And confronted with the empowered woman and our
own roles as the oppressors, we don’t know where to turn. Sports, career and
porn offer little solace. There is a void that used to be filled with a sense
of mastery over our own lives, a sense kept alive erroneously through the power
over women that we wielded throughout the ages. We may have been alone in a
chaotic and unfriendly world, but at least we had power over the feminine in
one sense – socially (and by extension, financially).
And for a while, that was all that mattered. Proprietary
interests continued to be a measure of our value and as long as you had a wife
to call your “own”, you rested easy in the sense that your role as a man was
fulfilled; you had control and all was well.
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We conquered everything; women, community, and the natural world. |
The feminist revolution was inevitable. It was inevitable because the concept
of woman as property is plainly wrong – in a universe
that tends towards cosmic harmony, the oppression of the feminine simply could not endure; her nature is to flourish. Se let me expound on the metaphysics of the
Divine Feminine for a moment.
The Divine Feminine is, fundamentally, the womb into which
the universe was born – the void. However, it is also the form and movement
that takes shape afterwards – the expression in material and energetic form of
the dance of consciousness. All that you can see, hear and touch. All that
moves – form and dance. An easy way to recognise the divine feminine is in
beauty: it is her shining her light through the material world. Another way to
measure your relationship with the divine feminine is your attitude towards
women (if you are a man – if you are a woman, go read some earth goddess blog).
In fact, the divine feminine is fundamentally relational. The quality of
your relationships is a good indication of the quality of the divine feminine
in yourself that is being allowed to be expressed. Also, as a cosmic disclaimer,
please note that everything I have said so far doesn’t quite encapsulate the
divine feminine – she is still kinda undefinable, which is IMO a source of
power. So be on the lookout for her!
Now, to the Masculine. Is what I’m about to say that
predictable? The Divine Masculine is fundamentally different to the feminine –
they operate on different planes of existence. They are so different they can
appear to be oppositional – but that’s a misconception. Their union is
essential for the birth and continuing evolution of the universe, and it is
through their union that we approach divinity.
The Masculine is essentially the light of consciousness –
the field of awareness that permeates all of existence. While emotions
(internal moving energies) are feminine, the canvas of consciousness that they
are registered on is the masculine. The masculine is also heightened
complexity; advancement – the impulse of evolution towards greater efficacy is
a great example of the Divine Masculine doing his thing in the world.
The Masculine is primarily concerned
with ‘getting it right’. Where the Feminine is concerned with the free flow of
energy and movement in the world, the Masculine wants ‘right energy’ and ‘right
movement’ –
authority – and he
uses rationality to make his point. But without the backdrop of beauty that the
Feminine provides, he wouldn’t know what to fight for. What is your
relationship with your father like, both as a child and now? It’s a pretty good
measure for your relationship to the Masculine (for men AND women! Yay!).
So what are the practical implications of all of this? The
current state of affairs has men chasing the old modes of domination – power
over women through force of personality, dress sense, earning capacity –
whatever. Capitalism has cashed in our desire for validation by creating a
whole suite of products and careers designed to help us achieve this.
Unfortunately, for both us and Capitalism, women have wised up to our game and
are increasingly recognising us for the
weak, emotionally stunted shitbags we so often are. We parade our insensitivity to what women want, then resort to
entitled vindictiveness when they reject us. We are by-and-large juvenile,
wailing half-men that have been abandoned by our fathers and any sense of
purpose and don’t we know which way to go. Yet our privilege – our earning
capacity, our sense of personal safety, our entitlement – makes a mockery of
any claim to hardship, so we wallow in the stagnant pools of self pity, venting
our rage at women and the world in general for making mockery of our pain. Or
less pessimistically, we distract ourselves with the diversions of material
wealth, sexual play and a sense of simulated achievement (whether through
sports, videogames or a particularly thrilling TVseries).
So what is the answer? First, to reclaim ourselves as men we
have to reconcile ourselves to the Feminine. For too long we have sought to
objectify and dominate it to enlarge our sense of control, making meaning of our
own sense of validation. Our first mistake was to divide our mother up into
plots of land that we could ‘own’. Soon after we began selling our daughters
and buying our wives. We have dedicated ourselves to our own masculinity, our
own authority, and in our quest to satiate our material desires we have
spiralled out of control, without the natural spiritual anchor that the Feminine
provides. If Masculinity is Authority, it only makes sense when it is in service to the Feminine, to Life and
Beauty.
We must dedicate
ourselves to the Feminine.
We must dedicate ourselves to
every neglected child.
We must dedicate ourselves to every felled forest.
We
must dedicate ourselves to every instance of beauty that the world provides.
We
must dedicate ourselves to our own bodies, the beautiful and terrible
sensations contained within, to reconnect ourselves to ourselves so that we may
be present in the world.
To do anything less would be to hold back in our
loving, to cheat the Feminine of our full presence, to cop out, to be less than
A Man.
Your own sense of inferiority doesn’t come from women. It
doesn’t come from your Father (though he can certainly help). It doesn’t come
from Capitalism or Society. It comes from your own knowledge that you are a Coward,
that – faced with the terrible wroth of the feminine in her dark aspect; be it
a raging and ‘irrational’ girlfriend or the horrors of war, pestilence and
disease – you retreat into your shell and reject Her. You throw up your hands
and say it is too much for you – that ‘another man’ should deal with it. And
that basic rejection of your self (because, duh, you’re not separate from the
world) creates a rift in you into which doubt flows and you falter. And yes, in
that moment you’re not the man you want to be – you’re less than a man by your
own definition.
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Your role is to love, fiercely and deeply |
If all men dedicated themselves to the realisation of the Feminine, oh, what a world it would be.
PLEASE NOTE: Masculine and Feminine energy are NOT
necessarily tied to gender. There can be men that have a Feminine core, and
women that have a Masculine core – typically these individuals are very
attractive to the opposite sex (go figure!). But generally, women have a
Feminine core and Men have a Masculine core. But we all have both. Women’s masculinity (authority/consciousness)
tends to naturally serve life – perhaps given their dominant Feminine aspect,
perhaps given their biology to create life – who knows. But women in career
generally opt for roles of carers, healers – nurturers of some description. We
need to value this more. And we men could learn a thing or two, and likely
excel in these roles should we allow ourselves to.
Some exercises for becoming more of a man
Confronting Death
1.
Imagine, in the current moment, that a rip
occurs in space-time. A black hole opens right up in front of you and devours
everything you ever knew or loved.
2.
Really go there. See the rift. Feel the sense of
panic, helplessness and sorrow. Feel it all – the void devours everything you
have ever known, leaving nothing. Feel into the present moment, feel the real
possibility that this could happen, right here, right now.
3.
Now, bring your attention back to the present
moment.
4.
Feel that sense of gratitude? Really feel it.
That sense of love for everything that is, right now? Feel that feeling.
5.
Cultivate that feeling. You are cultivating a
love of existence and of the Feminine. You are also confronting your fear of
death and impermanence, which is the thing that holds us back in our loving as
men.
6.
Die like this every day. Be reborn every day,
and go into the world loving fiercely and wholly.
Repeat this mantra:
You are fundamentally inadequate. The Sacred Feminine, Mara,
will never be satiated. She will always demand the more of you – in your
relationships, in your work, through your children. She will go on demanding
from you until you have nothing left to give, and that is the day that you will
die. And the world will still be rife with pain and sadness, injustice will
continue to be done – what you gave was not enough.
But before you pass into that sweet abyss of rest, what will
your final feelings be towards yourself? Will you feel satisfied in how you
lived, comfortable in the knowledge that you loved without holding back, to
your utmost potential?
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Did you give everything you had to satiate her?
Were you a warrior of love, fighting the good fight?
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Or did you ignore Her, pass time, and waste your
potential to instill your loving consciousness into the world?
The only way that you will die peacefully on that deathbed
is if you go on satiating her, each and every day, to your utmost – loving
fiercely and wholly until you die. No regrets, no wasted opportunities. Then
and only then will you die in peace.
Masculine in Service to the Embodied Feminine
1.
Sit comfortably, and allow your attention to
remain in your body.
2.
Rest your attention gently on the sensation of
your breathing.
3.
Allow your attention to go to any other
sensation in your body.
4.
Without trying to ‘fix’ any sensations that come
up, allow those feelings to be there – gently. Just notice them, breathe into
them and allow them the space in your body to be there.
You are cultivating connecting
your consciousness (masculine) to your own body – your own feminine.
Meditation
is also a powerful way of promoting mental and physical health through
heightened
consciousness of your self and your surroundings. Through this heightened
awareness of your emotions
and body (your feminine) you will be more effective
in your loving and in your actions.